You know – teasing is actually a form of affection?
This was revolutionary to me when I first grasped the concept. Growing up as a very insecure girl that was morbidly offended by everything, when someone teased me I took it very personally. When your whole family’s idea of banter is teasing, this obviously didn’t bode very well. I know what you’re thinking – I was obviously a great time to have at parties.
But it IS a form of affection. You don’t tease people you don’t like, period. The whole point is to bring the teaser and teasee together by laughing over a mutually funny point. It’s all patter. You would never tease someone about something that can actually strike a nerve, as that’s not witty or clever, it’s bullying.
So, when someone brings up that time you got battered at a dinner party, or call you out for having no ‘inside voice’ – people don’t actually care. It’s an opening to conversation. If it was genuinely bothering, they’d sit you down to have a ‘chat’ (as love islanders would say).