9 Things I’ve Learned In My 26 Years Around The Sun

  1. No one has a fucking clue what they’re doing. Yep, even the people you think have their life together are also winging it.
  2. Cheese is very expensive.
  3. If you have a zip that keeps falling flip the actual zip up – it has a locking mechanism and won’t come down anymore.
  4. Everyone does cocaine.
  5. There will be a horrible moment when you’re looking for an adult, then realize you’re an adult. So you look for an older adult, someone successfully adulating… an adultier adult.
  6. Do not underestimate how quickly your life can go downhill 🙂
  7. You probably shouldn’t have that shot of tequila when you’ve just drunk two bottles of wine
  8. No need to do that pregnancy test – your just fat.
  9. Don’t plan. Ever. I’ve made a bunch of life plans and I can safely say that not ONE has turned out the way I want it. Become a PR guru? Didn’t work out. Be a sales professional? Quit. Complete a makeup course? COVIDDD. There has never a better expression made up than ‘when you make a plan God laughs.’ Just say yes to opportunities and hope you’ll land on your feet is the only advice I can give really.

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