Ah, Coronavirus. The dreaded lurgy. I know I have a tendency to overreact, but when in February I warned my friends that this was the start of something that would carve out history and would change the shape of our lives, they told me to calm down and have another glass of vino. This was back in the good old days, before we were masked clad, 2 meters apart, and not having to be held up at temperature gunpoint everywhere we went.
Earlier this year, after various stringent rules forbidding us to leave our houses and to stay holed up for ‘2 weeks to flatten the curve’ (ended up being bloody 6 months) we face another lockdown. This is much like the other, but schools, colleges, and universities stay open, which I find increasingly peculiar. How are you going to make small children socially distant when teaching them in ordinary circumstances is nothing short of herding cats? Surely they are the ultimate super-spreaders? And God forbid there be another rise of the banana bread and wild pesto crazes, coupled with the return of the arbitrary Zoom pub quiz.
Having not been able to work and with only outgoings coming out of my bank, I have desperately racked my brains for an alternative source of income. Only Fans? Seems a bit saturated. Cam Girl? Meh. I found a hilarious website where a girl had been wearing facemasks as panties and selling it on for a tenner each. Respect the hustle, but not something I would consider myself. Now I have resigned myself to being a potato in bed, flinging off CV’s to absolutely no avail.
It’s strange living in a time where everything is so out of one’s control. I feel like I’m living in a shit movie with absolutely no way of turning it off. This is a time so historically bizarre and unfathomable that 2020 will be taught in school textbooks for generations to come. When will it end? Do we just give up and try herd immunity? 2020 for many is a living nightmare.
To end I will quote one of my favorite memes – ‘A good way to predict things that happen in 2020 is to disregard what you would like to happen, then disregard what is predicted to happen, then imagine the worst thing that could happen and the reality will be a bit shitter than that’